in a really down mood..

i was really looking forward to the taiwan trip.. the trip tat only my close friends know.. but now, even before the trips i had done something really stupid and silly and childish and insane and crazy.. why did i do that.. a stupid mistake may endanger my life so easily and yet i still do it anyway.. what was i thinking.. my mind isn't straight.. i will ruin my life soon.. i felt terrible.. really..